{"id":2788,"date":"2026-07-08T16:16:24","date_gmt":"2026-07-08T20:16:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/?p=2788"},"modified":"2026-07-08T16:23:21","modified_gmt":"2026-07-08T20:23:21","slug":"mingled-bitterness-and-terror","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror\/","title":{"rendered":"mingled bitterness, and terror"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1668\" height=\"2501\" src=\"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1.jpg\" alt=\"mingled bitterness, and terror my\nsensations. Now I\ndespair, and endeavour to hide from view.\nthis time This change was\nThe shutting of the gates\nand the impossibility of remaining\nwithin the walls.\nI was after\nthe night, I took\n\nthe wind; and\nI left to pursue\nmy own miserable reflections. I was\nat peace and I\nwandered in a scene so beautiful I\nsome bat,\ntempted to plunge\ninto silent waters my calamities\nfor ever thought of and suffering\nexistence bound up\nin my surviving. I\nleave exposed and unprotected,\nI had let loose,\nI wept bitterly, and wished\nthat I might\nnot be. hope?\nI lived in\nnew\nobscure\nenormity\npast\nMy abhorrence.\nmy teeth, my eyes\nardently wished that life,\nthoughtlessly bestowed, reflected malice, my\nhatred burst all bounds of moderation.\ncould I?\nI wished to see again\" class=\"wp-image-2789\" style=\"width:687px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1.jpg 1668w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-768x1152.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-1366x2048.jpg 1366w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-940x1409.jpg 940w, https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1055\/2026\/07\/mingled-bitterness-and-terror-1-400x600.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1668px) 100vw, 1668px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>By Nicole Degelman<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">mingled bitterness, and terror my<br>sensations. Now I<br>despair, and endeavour to hide from view.<br>this time This change was<br>The shutting of the gates<br>and the impossibility of remaining<br>within the walls.<br>I was after<br>the night, I took<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">the wind; and<br>I left to pursue<br>my own miserable reflections. I was<br>at peace and I<br>wandered in a scene so beautiful I<br>some bat,<br>tempted to plunge<br>into silent waters my calamities<br>for ever thought of and suffering<br>existence bound up<br>in my surviving. I<br>leave exposed and unprotected,<br>I had let loose,<br>I wept bitterly, and wished<br>that I might<br>not be. hope?<br>I lived in<br>new<br>obscure<br>enormity<br>past<br>My abhorrence.<br>my teeth, my eyes<br>ardently wished that life,<br>thoughtlessly bestowed, reflected malice, my<br>hatred burst all bounds of moderation.<br>could I?<br>I wished to see again<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Nicole Degelman mingled bitterness, and terror mysensations. Now Idespair, and endeavour to hide from view.this time This change wasThe shutting of the gatesand the impossibility of remainingwithin the walls.I was afterthe night, I took the wind; andI left to pursuemy own miserable reflections. I wasat peace and Iwandered in a scene so beautiful Isome&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8216,"featured_media":2787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monstermash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2788","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8216"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2788"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2788\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2790,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2788\/revisions\/2790"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2788"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2788"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/bdpcblackoutproject\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2788"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}