3.1.2021

This week has proven really stressful and busy as my commitments ask for more and more of my time. I have booked studio space for Thursday nights and Sunday afternoons, and am looking forward to being in Berenson again. I’m learning that I depend on a mirror while choreographing to make sure I’m being clear with the shapes I’d like to make legible to the audience. It’s easy to get lost in movement in my room and then watch a recording back to find that it looks different from how it feels. Plus, being in Scott for ballet for the first time in over a year reminded me how much I adore marley flooring.

3.3.2021

In preparation for the dance audition tonight I’ve spend most of my afternoon working on four eight counts of dance. It’s exhausting, realizing that two hours of work is only thirty seconds of dance. I’m starting to feel anxious about our showing on Friday, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to show despite the time I’ve spent trying to create.

I suspect a lot of the issue is that I refuse to leave a movement alone after I’ve created it. I struggle with making rough drafts and would rather work and rework the same few moves until I’m happy with them then churn out material. But if there was ever a time to start churning, it’s now. I would like to focus myself on making material in bulk that can be refined later, allowing me to cherry pick my piece from a basin of choreography. What’s that saying about throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks? That.

It’s a new way to work and it’s something I need to aclimitize to fast in order to keep up.

The snippet I worked on and taught in the audition is a phrase that began with the idea of a handshake and sort of morphed into something I’m calling my “haunted doll” phrase. I enjoy playing with these sharp creepy moments and looking directly at the audience. I’d love to expand this into a much larger section before Friday.

(For thoughts on the audition process, see 1.5 CD Process Log)

3.4.2021

I spent my evening at the studio, which was both exhilarating and mind numbingly tedious. I started by playing some of the music that I associate with last summer and all of the stress and anger it inspired, but quickly found that it was too distracting to compose to. I know these songs by heart and I couldn’t bring myself to stop singing and dancing with abandon. So in a weird ironic way, I had to stop dancing to get some dancing done. I’m finding I work best in silence despite my love of music and dance as partners.

The section I’ll be sharing is an extension of the “haunted doll” section I taught for the audition, which I’d like to eventually modify and place on my dancers as a rippling canon with a lot of repetititon. The intitial movements of the arms especially kept resurfacing and might become something that reappears again and again.

I also started bringing in ideas of touch, especially of arms and fingers, casual contact that’s now so rigorously avoided. I liked playing with self-intimacy while staring down my audience.

Ultimately I’m happy with the work I’m sharing this week, and excited to start sharing it with my dancers.