{"id":353,"date":"2022-11-22T12:21:46","date_gmt":"2022-11-22T17:21:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/eng118st-fa22\/?p=353"},"modified":"2022-11-22T12:26:24","modified_gmt":"2022-11-22T17:26:24","slug":"writing-the-fat-experience-fatphobia-in-kiss-him-not-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.smith.edu\/eng118st-fa22\/writing-the-fat-experience-fatphobia-in-kiss-him-not-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing the Fat Experience: Fatphobia in Kiss Him, Not Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am fat. Yet when I use that word to describe myself, it is met with horrified expressions. As it stands, fat is not just a descriptor, but rather carries many negative connotations. I have been using this word recently in a reclaiming sense, using it the same way I would use the word tall; being fat is a part of my existence. My fatness has shaped much of my life, impacting my interactions with others and with myself. Going beyond my own experience with fatness, such disparities in treatment exist for all fat people. Fat bodies are treated as a point of shame, and there exists a myriad of companies that are dedicated to helping you get rid of that shame. If a fat body is actually \u201caccepted\u201d in the media, it is often with the stipulation that they must be striving to lose weight. These \u201crepresentations\u201d of fat bodies do more harm than good as they perpetuate harmful stereotypes about fatness. One such show in which fatness is misrepresented is the anime <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i>, which aired in Japan in 2016. This show follows Kae Serinuma who is obsessed with both anime and manga. Kae is fat, but when her favorite anime character dies, she shuts herself in her room for a week and comes out thin and, in the eyes of the show, attractive. <\/span>Following her weight loss, Kae is suddenly the center of attention at school. Four boys end up falling for her, fighting each other for her attention, meanwhile she would just prefer to watch them fall in love with each other.<\/span> Though there are other problems within this show, including the fetishization of gay men, I will be focusing specifically on the fatphobia Kae faces. <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> depicts fatness harmfully as it reinforces existing stereotypes surrounding fat bodies and offers an unrealistic idealization of weight loss.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> reinforces the trope within entertainment of fat bodies being used as comedic relief by depicting Kae in a solely comedic light before her weight loss.<\/span> Kae is fat only for the beginning of the first episode. Before she loses weight, Kae is drawn in a laughable way, with wavy lips and crazed looking eyes. She is even shown drooling over her favorite anime. And then, as soon as Kae loses weight, she is drawn as the typical beautiful anime girl, with large eyes, perfectly styled hair, and a light blush on her cheeks. Kae\u2019s weight is also a constant point of conversation and seemingly necessitates acknowledgment. At home, her brother calls her \u201cfatso\u201d and \u201cfatty\u201d as though they are fond nicknames. Her classmates also make comments and jokes about her weight, with lines like, \u201cI came out unscathed, thanks to you, the human cushion!\u201d All of this treatment changes the instant she becomes thin.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, much of the \u201crepresentation\u201d of fat bodies in entertainment is treated this same way. Many shows or movies that boast \u201cfat representation\u201d instead provide \u201cportrayals that ostensibly provide fat women with representation but in reality simply recycle damaging stereotypes\u201d (Bernstein and St. John, 268). One such stereotype is that of rapid, dramatic weight loss. These \u201csuccess stories\u201d of fat characters losing weight allows viewers to watch as these characters start to adhere to the so-called norm of being skinny. They allow viewers to \u201clog on and see the fat girl atone for her sin of gluttony\u201d (Bernstein and St. John, 265). If a fat character does not undergo this transformation, they stay as a point of comedy; normal treatment is only available to fat characters after they have lost their weight. These are the two narratives available to fat people in entertainment; either you are the butt of the joke or you lose weight. This treatment reaches beyond entertainment and into real life; fat people are only taken seriously when they are actively working to not be fat. The dehumanization of fat people is fueled by the dehumanization of fat characters. The portrayal of Kae\u2019s fatness in <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i> directly contributes to this dehumanization of fat people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> also effectively labels the fat body as unlovable, furthering the assumption that being fat means being unwanted. At its core, <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i> is a show about romance. It follows Kae as four boys fall for her and begin to fight for her affection, hoping to be the one she picks. These four love interests, who are equally infatuated with her, remain throughout the show. Yet they only show up <\/span>after<\/span><\/i> she loses weight. This sudden romantic interest in Kae is because of her weight loss. The show directly acknowledges the purpose of this shift in treatment with lines like, <\/span>\u201cShe got cute after losing some weight. Unreal.\u201d This representation of Kae, as well as most representations of fat women in entertainment, paint them as unlovable because of their \u201cgrotesque aesthetic\u201d and \u201c by alluding to stereotypes such as the laziness, gluttony, and lack of self control of fat people\u201d (Abdillahi and Friedman, 167). Just as the treatment of fat bodies as points of comedy in entertainment bleeds into reality, so does the portrayal of fat bodies as unlovable. Fat bodies are so frequently labeled as unlovable that \u201cbeing fat and getting laid seems extraordinary\u201d (Keene, 23). People will often be silent about having or <\/span>wanting<\/span><\/i> to have sex with a fat person because of their weight and outward appearance. This is due to the inherent shame associated with being attracted to someone so \u201caesthetically unappealing.\u201d The view of fat bodies as aesthetically unappealing has led to the perception that fatness negates beauty. I<\/span>n high school when I would describe myself as fat, friends would always stop me and say, \u201coh you\u2019re not fat, you\u2019re beautiful!\u201d One cannot be both fat and beautiful due to the current connotations of the word fat. The mutual exclusivity of these two words continues the treatment of fat people as unlovable. Harmful representations such as this make it so we, as a society, cannot yet acknowledge that fat people are deserving of love.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> also reinforces an idealization of diet culture, pushing a dangerous narrative about the supposed ease and necessity of losing weight. It does so by showing Kae\u2019s weight loss as a success after starving herself for a week. This show only shows the benefits Kae experiences from her weight loss. An example of these benefits occurs when she returns to her P.E. class post weight loss and says, <\/span>\u201cMy body feels so light! It\u2019s like I\u2019ve grown wings!\u201d <\/span>This show perpetuates the idea that losing weight is the key to making your life improve. However, rapid weight loss due to starvation is often coupled with many harmful side effects. These include cognitive changes, weakness, abdominal pain, and more (Silver). <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> entirely ignores these dangers. Instead, the show pushes the narrative that weight loss comes with the love and friendship and <\/span>attention<\/span><\/i> that your fat body makes impossible. All you have to do is starve yourself. This misrepresentation of weight loss is harmful knowing that diet culture is a constant pressure placed on fat people. Diets often do not deliver the results they promise and if they do it is at the cost of one’s health or mental state. Kate Manne talks about the effects of diet culture in her life in an opinion piece with the New York Times. In this piece, Manne references a month in which she did not eat for 17 of the 30 days in an effort to quickly lose weight, and calls her decision \u201cso extreme that [she] hesitate[s] to admit\u201d (Manne). Though she rejects the ideals of diet culture, Manne, along with many other fat people, struggles with applying that thinking to herself. <\/span>Her motivation for moving away from diet culture is her fear of passing on her body issues to her daughter. Manne, even after acknowledging her urge to move away from diet culture, operates within a world wherein she is constantly pressured to lose weight. <\/span>We must shift our thinking to acknowledge that fat people are not obligated to lose weight and that \u201c<\/span>it\u2019s okay to be fat, and being fat is okay\u201d (Beck, 29). Fat people exist! And that is okay! We do not need to lose weight in order to exist! Anything that romanticizes diet culture is reinforcing the harmful ideas that fat people must strive to lose weight. Rather than following this call for weight loss, fat people should, as any person should, simply eat when they are hungry.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One could argue that because the fatphobia shown in <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me <\/span><\/i>is accurate to the treatment of fat people in real life it is reflective rather than problematic. In my life, I have faced much of the same treatment that Kae faces because of her weight. I have been given nicknames, I have been teased and laughed at for my size. Friends have looked at what I eat with judgemental eyes, even when I am eating exactly what they are. I even fantasized, for a while, about what my own transformation would be like. I imagined losing weight and instantly falling in love. My entire life, I have moved around this world feeling as though my weight were something to be ashamed of. This fatphobia was not instilled in me at home. Instead, I was taught to look at my body with such shame from the portrayal of fat bodies in entertainment. The issue with representation like <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> lies in the fact that it reinforces harmful stereotypes about fat bodies. Our society cannot reach a place of fat acceptance if fat people are continually dehumanized and misrepresented in the media. Fat people deserve a world in which we can exist\u00a0 without needing to prove our worth. And positive portrayals of fat bodies in entertainment are a crucial step towards that acceptance.<\/span><\/p>\n

The fatphobia within <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i> perpetuates harmful stereotypes about fat bodies and fat existence. The show pushes the idea that fat bodies are inherently funny and therefore can be used as a point of comedy. By giving Kae a love interest only after her drastic weight loss, the show reinforces the idea that fat people are unattractive and unlovable, and that people will only find love after they\u2019ve lost the weight.This show leaves fat viewers with an understanding that fat people must live with the constant intention to lose weight. At this point, we must acknowledge that fat people exist and that this existence is just existence. Fat people are people, and they deserve to be treated as such\u2014as people who can fall in love, who do not need to change their fatness just to be. The stereotypes that <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> perpetuates go directly against this. The problems of fatphobia within the show are made all the more harmful when considered in conjunction with the fact that this show is directed towards a younger audience. Younger audiences are much more impressionable, meaning that this problematic messaging will stick. And this is a <\/span>popular<\/span><\/i> anime. When you google best BL (boys love) anime, this anime is one of the first results. It is popular in spite of its obvious fatphobic messages, meaning that this fatphobic ideology is being spread to such a wide audience. Moving forward, in order to ensure that the stereotypes perpetuated by <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> stop being spread, we must call out fatphobia in entertainment. Acceptance of fat bodies in the media will only come from proper representation. Entertainment has the power to shape more of our ideas and lives than we give it credit for. We, as fat people, will not reach a place where we can just <\/span>exist<\/span><\/i> in this society until we eradicate problematic fat depictions in entertainment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Works Cited:<\/span><\/p>\n

Abdillahi, Idil, and May Friedman. \u201cLessons Learned from Fat Women on Television.\u201d <\/span>Body Stories: In and out and with and through Fat<\/span><\/i>, edited by May Friedman and Jill Andrew, Demeter Press, 2020, pp. 165\u201372. <\/span>JSTOR<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>https:\/\/doi.org\/10.2307\/j.ctv19prrp3.26<\/span><\/a>. Accessed 6 Nov. 2022.<\/span><\/p>\n

This source is a critique of the portrayal of fat women in the media written <\/span>by<\/span><\/i> fat women. The authors focus on how being immersed in the media at this day and age is inevitable but what we are <\/span>learning<\/span><\/i> from that media may be harmful. This source focuses on the existence of a \u201cgood fatty\u201d or a correct way to be fat. This \u201ccorrect\u201d way of being fat is to watch your food intake and to constantly strive to lose weight. Basically, it is okay that you are fat so long as you are trying not to be. The authors also discuss fat representation in the dating show 90 day fiance, in which fat couples are shown as more argumentative and as less long lasting than their thin counterparts who have relationships revolving around romance and sex.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This source is essential to my argument as I have already identified the issue of fatphobia within the show but not <\/span>why<\/span><\/i> it is an issue. This article does an excellent job identifying poor representations of fat people in the media but also identifies why those representations are bad and what stereotypes they perpetuate. Since Kae loses so much weight within the first episode and laments about how much better her life is after losing weight, she is almost a variation of this \u201cgood fatty\u201d narrative. Kae emphasizes this idea that it is okay to be fat so long as you do not intend to stay that way. This source will help me highlight the problematic nature of this show\u2019s treatment of Kae\u2019s dramatic weight loss by grounding it in other poor representations of fat bodies in the media.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BECK, AMANDA MARTINEZ. \u201cIT\u2019S OKAY TO BE FAT.\u201d <\/span>More of You: The Fat Girl\u2019s Field Guide to the Modern World<\/span><\/i>, 1517 Media, 2022, pp. 29\u201340. <\/span>JSTOR<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>https:\/\/doi.org\/10.2307\/j.ctv1s5nz4g.6<\/span><\/a>. Accessed 6 Nov. 2022.<\/span><\/p>\n

This book chapter of Beck\u2019s serves to discuss fatness and a fat person\u2019s place in this world. Which is to say, if you are fat, you <\/span>have<\/span><\/i> a place in this world. Beck focuses on the birth of fat liberation as a movement as well as what that movement looks like today. She focuses specifically on an article from fashion designer Tim Gunn in which he simultaneously calls out fatphobia in the fashion industry and somehow manages to be extremely fatphobic in the process. Beck also discusses fatphobia in the world of romance, and how fat women are often immediately perceived as unlovable. Ultimately, this chapter of Beck\u2019s longer work serves to undo harmful stereotypes of being fat that have been ingrained into us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I can use this source to first establish a foundation of what fat liberation is and why the movement exists. This source also mentions a lot of assumptions that fat people must face in their daily lives, like this idea that \u201cfat=bad\u201d. Beck\u2019s purpose within this chapter is to acknowledge that being fat is <\/span>okay<\/span><\/i>. However, in <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i>, the character is a laughing stock until she loses a lot of weight. This source is helpful in acknowledging how fat people <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> treated versus how we <\/span>should<\/span><\/i> be treated (like normal people because we are normal people!!). Then, by comparing this ideology to the show, the fatphobia the main character faces will be all the more evident.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bernstein, Beth, et al. \u201cThe Roseanne Benedict Arnolds: How Fat Women Are Betrayed by Their Celebrity Icons.\u201d <\/span>The Fat Studies Reader<\/span><\/i>, edited by Esther Rothblum and Sondra Solovay, NYU Press, 2009, pp. 263\u201370. <\/span>JSTOR<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>http:\/\/www.jstor.org\/stable\/j.ctt9qg2bh.37<\/span><\/a> . Accessed 8 Nov. 2022.<\/span><\/p>\n

Berstein\u2019s purpose within this essay is to recognize the recurring theme of supposedly \u201cfat and proud\u201d celebrities turning around and losing weight, often due to unhealthy diets or weight loss surgeries. Bernstein recounts that while many of these women were proud of their bodies and called for other fat women to be proud as well, they would lose weight and criticize their former size. Bernstein cites four main celebrities who did this, showing that this is, in fact, a recurring issue. Bernstein also mentioned the important fact that even when fat women are represented in television and movies, it is not in a positive light. When the actors who were proud to be fat and play fat characters then turn around and spread the idea that being fat is inherently unhealthy, it reflects poorly on other fat people who might not want to lose weight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Though Kae is only fat for about half of the first episode, the entire time she is shown, she is drawn with a clearly comedic facial expression and is shown freaking out over her \u201cweird\u201d interests. Her fatness is used only as a point of comedy. This source will be helpful when discussing this show as it shows that this comedic use of the fat body is a trope across television and film. Not only that, but it mentions how harmful such messages of weight loss and diet culture are, which I hope to discuss in depth in my essay. Ultimately, this essay’s writings on how fat bodies are not portrayed in a positive light in the media rings true when looking at this show.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keene, Samantha. \u201cBecause I\u2019m Fat, I Don\u2019t Deserve Satisfaction?: A Young Fat Woman\u2019s Experience of Sex.\u201d <\/span>Body Stories: In and out and with and through Fat<\/span><\/i>, edited by Jill Andrew and May Friedman, Demeter Press, 2020, pp. 21\u201328. <\/span>JSTOR<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>https:\/\/doi.org\/10.2307\/j.ctv19prrp3.4<\/span><\/a>. Accessed 6 Nov. 2022.<\/span><\/p>\n

Keene\u2019s focus within this book chapter is fat women and their treatment in more romantic spheres. First, Keene opens, just as the last source did, with the acknowledgement that fat women are viewed as gross or weak or lazy. Throughout the source, Keene refers to herself as a woman of size rather than as fat, which is a conscious decision of the author\u2019s that I would like to note. Keene\u2019s main focus is on the treatment of fat women in the romantic sphere. From her experience, Keene cites men as viewing fat women as easy targets, something to fetishize, or something that they need to hide from those around them. Keene recalls one specific experience of hers where a traditionally attractive man was openly affectionate to her in public and her friends all started clapping as though it were this great occurrence. That sort of reaction would not have happened had Keene been thinner. Ultimately, Keene pushes this message that fat women are treated in such a way that they would be lucky to have whoever wanted them.<\/span><\/p>\n

The treatment of fat women Keene describes is very close to the treatment of the protagonist in <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i>. I am interested in comparing the idea of fat women not being considered in a romantic way to the decision of the show to give the protagonist four very attractive love interests the moment she lost weight. Keene\u2019s perception of how fat women are treated in romantic settings is reflected within this show, but also within entertainment in general. I am interested in discussing Keene\u2019s experiences, the experiences shown in the show, and the effects they may have on those watching the show.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Manne, Kate. \u201cDiet Culture Is Unhealthy. It’s Also Immoral.\u201d <\/span>The New York Times<\/span><\/i>, The New York Times, 3 Jan. 2022, <\/span>https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/01\/03\/opinion\/diet-resolution.html<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This source is an opinion piece by Kate Manne, detailing her perspective on diet culture. She writes about her relationship to her body, specifically through her lens as an academic philosopher. Manne opens this article by recalling an anecdote in which she became conscious of how her own weight issues could be passed onto her daughter. Within this article, Manne speaks of a common narrative in which fat people recognize the importance of fat activists and health at every size but are ultimately unable to apply that to themselves. She also references the important idea that fat people\u2019s ideas may be viewed as lesser than because of their outside appearances.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kae\u2019s weight loss in <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i> is an extremely unhealthy portrayal. Weight loss is not that easy, nor will it have such results. This article is essential to my argument of the show being fatphobic as it discusses not only the author\u2019s own experience with the harms of diet culture but warns against the continuation of such ideology. <\/span>Kiss Him<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>Not Me<\/span><\/i> sells weight loss and starvation with a promise of beauty and love should you succeed. Manne, however, writes about how all-encompassing the need to lose weight can be, and the drastic lengths you become willing to go to to reach your desired weight. This article, coupled with the show, truly highlights the show\u2019s insensitive portrayal of weight loss as well as the issues in the messages it is pushing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Silver, Natalie. \u201cHow Long Can You Live without Food? Effects of Starvation.\u201d <\/span>Healthline<\/span><\/i>, Healthline Media, 13 Oct. 2022, <\/span>https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/food-nutrition\/how-long-can-you-live-without-food#side-effects-and-risks<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This article from Healthline discusses the risks of starvation on the human body. Everybody\u2019s body is different, and, as such, each body can go different amounts of time without food. But a sustained amount of time without food can have harmful side effects on the body; starvation doesn\u2019t <\/span>just<\/span><\/i> lead to weight loss. For example, fat people may be able to survive without food for longer because their body will burn up all of their fat stores before starting to affect their muscles and such. No matter how long one can survive without food, there are still many harmful effects of starvation, including cognitive changes, and, depending on how severe the starvation is, organ failure.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The \u201cweight loss\u201d presented in <\/span>Kiss Him, Not Me<\/span><\/i> is just starvation. Kae locks herself in her room for a week then comes out skinny. Yet the show makes no efforts to show any side effects of that starvation. By misrepresenting the effects of starvation, this show does a disservice to its viewers, promising weight loss without any side effects. In reality, were Kae to lose such weight in such a way, she would not be able to instantly return to her normal life, nor would she be able to fully participate in her PE classes. I will use this article to demonstrate the dangers of the show not accurately portraying the side effects of weight loss due to starvation. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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