wish time made quiet, wish the moments paused,
wish twined limbs locked, wish mornings yellow, still,
wish held hands shaped refuge, the fingers warm,
wish heartbeats soft, wish moonbeam spilling clear
on cloudless eyes. wish all the old cliches.
somehow we passed summer, love. i wish, but
it’s star-cold, bone-late, and we’re out of light.
we’re waltzing-down, death dance of four left feet
once trying, of lips once touched, now praying,
of heads, once lost, now bowed. when this ends: end.
there is a language in which i still know
how to love you, and though my tongue has tired,
i speak it. wish: always, and tenderness,
and–please–to be speechless. to speak only goodbye.
The day she was gone,
I wrote everything I could,
It went on and on,
I think she would’ve understood,
How do we hold on?
How do we let go?
There is no beyond
Just the ones that know
Coffee with milk,
Only red shoes,
She wore only silk
And fell asleep to the news
Miniature ballet slippers,
Delicate tea sets,
Our photos with hers
A life made from vignettes,
She had beautiful hands
And a famously sharp mind,
Never afraid to make demands,
Of any kind
Carve out a space for your dream,
Live a life with no apologies,
I will live looking to her, it seems
To remind of such an ideology.
An ode to Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread
Only in the morning do you come
A surprise, an infrequent blessing
Little do you know
How your presence sustains me
A labor of love
Though that labor goes unseen
To those who treasure you
I wish that more were keen
Elements of you that I loved already
Rich flavor and warm touch
There are days I find I need you
Though you aren’t there
When I see you again
When I embrace you once more
I will make sure
Others neglect you nevermore
Genetics (pantoum)
A single cell
Rapidly dividing
Now split into two
A single mutation
Rapidly dividing
We were one
A single mutation
No longer Identical
We were one
I was you and you were me
No longer identical
I can’t love you
I was you and you were me
DNA methylation came between us
I can’t love you
If only a cure existed
Pantoum-
There she goes again
A helpless sack of bones
Her skin has lost its glow
Her feebleness pains me
A helpless sack of bones
She made me leave today
Her feebleness angers me
We can never dance again.
She made me leave today
The hospital called while I was home
We can never dance again
She is gone, forever…code blue.
Tanka poems:
Sleep is calling me
Dreamland became my safe place
There they wait for me
Ready to hold my scared hand
Collecting me in warm arms
All day long I work
Constantly overthinking
Overworked, I’m tired
Anxiety rules my brain
Can’t afford to take a break
Early Frost – pantoum
The sun rises over thawing hills,
breath warming fingertips, visible,
invisible wind. Biting chapped lips. Chills
threaten, become a shivering smile.
Breath warming fingertips, visible
floating, drifting up above the skyline
that threatens, becomes a shivering smile.
Teeth glistening, a morning to bear—fine.
Floating, drifting up above the skyline,
Forgotten fires frozen over,
Teeth glistening, a morning to bear, fine,
Finally. Cold enough to be shocked sober.
Forgotten fires frozen over,
Breathe in the winter, again, the thrill.
finally. Cold enough to be shocked sober.
The sun rises over thawing hills.
Butterflies (Ghazal):
Little butterflies chasing the streams of sunlight,
the light blue sky filled with their beautiful wings.
Pink with black stripes, sitting on the red rose,
This one seems content just fluttering its wings.
Gliding away, not a worry in its mind,
the butterfly flies away, the others right behind its wings.
The butterfly lives in its own world,
blissfully unaware, of the threats behind its wings.
The butterflies have found their next muse, oh so pretty,
on its white petals, they sit, the sunlight reflecting on their wings.
Scar Tissue (pantoum)
Maybe it’s not what you were expecting, but I forgive you.
It transpired slowly, before I could even realize what was happening,
before the stubborn part of me could resist,
my stupid, stupid heart opened up and took you in again.
It transpired slowly. And before I could even realize what was happening,
We were back to some semblance of normalcy,
and my stupid, stupid heart opened up and accepted you with open arms.
But it was tentative and raw, with jagged edges like a still-healing wound.
We’ve returned to some semblance of normalcy,
so now we chuckle to fill the awkward silences and make small talk like strangers,
but it was still tentative and raw, with raised edges like a freshly healed wound.
Where every time you make the motions to pat my head, I flinch a little less.
Instead of chuckling to fill the awkward silences and making small talk like strangers,
we begin joking around and acting as if nothing happened.
Where every time you pat my head, I glow a little brighter. Beaming,
because Dad, I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me too.
Temptation: An Ode
Creeping through the gaps in my mind
A force to be reckoned with
Whispering enticing demands
A sigh escapes under my breath
Your sweet voice pulls me in
Requesting for action.
The contemplation makes me spin
Yet, you want satisfaction.
Intoxicating you are
Rejected and shamed by all
You cling onto me as a fallen star
You are natural and not at fault
Beauty it is
The wonders of nature,
An overpowering sin
Awaits me as I am devoured.
for your birthday this year, i
(attempted sonnet)
wish time made quiet, wish the moments paused,
wish twined limbs locked, wish mornings yellow, still,
wish held hands shaped refuge, the fingers warm,
wish heartbeats soft, wish moonbeam spilling clear
on cloudless eyes. wish all the old cliches.
somehow we passed summer, love. i wish, but
it’s star-cold, bone-late, and we’re out of light.
we’re waltzing-down, death dance of four left feet
once trying, of lips once touched, now praying,
of heads, once lost, now bowed. when this ends: end.
there is a language in which i still know
how to love you, and though my tongue has tired,
i speak it. wish: always, and tenderness,
and–please–to be speechless. to speak only goodbye.
The day she was gone,
I wrote everything I could,
It went on and on,
I think she would’ve understood,
How do we hold on?
How do we let go?
There is no beyond
Just the ones that know
Coffee with milk,
Only red shoes,
She wore only silk
And fell asleep to the news
Miniature ballet slippers,
Delicate tea sets,
Our photos with hers
A life made from vignettes,
She had beautiful hands
And a famously sharp mind,
Never afraid to make demands,
Of any kind
Carve out a space for your dream,
Live a life with no apologies,
I will live looking to her, it seems
To remind of such an ideology.
An ode to Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread
Only in the morning do you come
A surprise, an infrequent blessing
Little do you know
How your presence sustains me
A labor of love
Though that labor goes unseen
To those who treasure you
I wish that more were keen
Elements of you that I loved already
Rich flavor and warm touch
There are days I find I need you
Though you aren’t there
When I see you again
When I embrace you once more
I will make sure
Others neglect you nevermore
Genetics (pantoum)
A single cell
Rapidly dividing
Now split into two
A single mutation
Rapidly dividing
We were one
A single mutation
No longer Identical
We were one
I was you and you were me
No longer identical
I can’t love you
I was you and you were me
DNA methylation came between us
I can’t love you
If only a cure existed
Pantoum-
There she goes again
A helpless sack of bones
Her skin has lost its glow
Her feebleness pains me
A helpless sack of bones
She made me leave today
Her feebleness angers me
We can never dance again.
She made me leave today
The hospital called while I was home
We can never dance again
She is gone, forever…code blue.
Tanka poems:
Sleep is calling me
Dreamland became my safe place
There they wait for me
Ready to hold my scared hand
Collecting me in warm arms
All day long I work
Constantly overthinking
Overworked, I’m tired
Anxiety rules my brain
Can’t afford to take a break
Early Frost – pantoum
The sun rises over thawing hills,
breath warming fingertips, visible,
invisible wind. Biting chapped lips. Chills
threaten, become a shivering smile.
Breath warming fingertips, visible
floating, drifting up above the skyline
that threatens, becomes a shivering smile.
Teeth glistening, a morning to bear—fine.
Floating, drifting up above the skyline,
Forgotten fires frozen over,
Teeth glistening, a morning to bear, fine,
Finally. Cold enough to be shocked sober.
Forgotten fires frozen over,
Breathe in the winter, again, the thrill.
finally. Cold enough to be shocked sober.
The sun rises over thawing hills.
Butterflies (Ghazal):
Little butterflies chasing the streams of sunlight,
the light blue sky filled with their beautiful wings.
Pink with black stripes, sitting on the red rose,
This one seems content just fluttering its wings.
Gliding away, not a worry in its mind,
the butterfly flies away, the others right behind its wings.
The butterfly lives in its own world,
blissfully unaware, of the threats behind its wings.
The butterflies have found their next muse, oh so pretty,
on its white petals, they sit, the sunlight reflecting on their wings.
Scar Tissue (pantoum)
Maybe it’s not what you were expecting, but I forgive you.
It transpired slowly, before I could even realize what was happening,
before the stubborn part of me could resist,
my stupid, stupid heart opened up and took you in again.
It transpired slowly. And before I could even realize what was happening,
We were back to some semblance of normalcy,
and my stupid, stupid heart opened up and accepted you with open arms.
But it was tentative and raw, with jagged edges like a still-healing wound.
We’ve returned to some semblance of normalcy,
so now we chuckle to fill the awkward silences and make small talk like strangers,
but it was still tentative and raw, with raised edges like a freshly healed wound.
Where every time you make the motions to pat my head, I flinch a little less.
Instead of chuckling to fill the awkward silences and making small talk like strangers,
we begin joking around and acting as if nothing happened.
Where every time you pat my head, I glow a little brighter. Beaming,
because Dad, I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me too.
Temptation: An Ode
Creeping through the gaps in my mind
A force to be reckoned with
Whispering enticing demands
A sigh escapes under my breath
Your sweet voice pulls me in
Requesting for action.
The contemplation makes me spin
Yet, you want satisfaction.
Intoxicating you are
Rejected and shamed by all
You cling onto me as a fallen star
You are natural and not at fault
Beauty it is
The wonders of nature,
An overpowering sin
Awaits me as I am devoured.