Experiences which are common among aros (though not universal, and also not exclusive to aros):

• Never or rarely ever having crushes
• Consciously choosing crushes or making up crushes in order to fit in
• Only having had crushes on people you know really well
• Only feeling romantically attracted to fictional characters
• Feeling like it’s very difficult or takes you forever to ‘fall in love’
• Not having a “type”
• Disliking discussing crushes (yours or other people’s)
• Entering into a relationship because “that’s what you’re supposed to do”
• Feeling that the only thing that appeals to you in a romantic relationship is sex, or having nothing about a romantic relationship appealing to you
• Dating someone because you wanted to ‘give them a chance,’ and not because you’re attracted to them
• Being disinterested in dating altogether
• Disliking media that’s romance heavy
• Feeling a disconnect between yourself and romantic media
• Finding traditionally romantic activities unappealing or uninteresting
• Deciding you must be straight despite never having a crush on the “opposite” gender
• Labeling yourself as aromantic feels freeing or validating

 

Experiences which are common among aces (though not universal, and also not exclusive to aces):

• Being confused by:
  • The terms ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’
  • Flirting or sexual cues
  • Advertising that uses sexual imagery
  • Peers showing interest in sex (expecially in middle and high school)
  • Why abstinence is so difficult for some people
  • The idea of a ‘sexual awakening’
  • Celebrity crushes
• Feeling disconnected from or uncomfortable with:
  • Sexual tension/sex scenes in books/TV/movies/etc.
  • Discussing sex
  • Being seen as sexual/sexy
• Disinterest in a long-term sexual partnership/marriage
• Wanting to have sex only with someone one feels a close emotional connection with
• Never having crushes or choosing crushes
• Disinterest in relationship-centric media
• Not understanding the appeal of kissing or making-out