Asexuality is not:
- a medical condition
- a choice
- celibacy/chastity
- waiting (for marriage, or true love, or the right person)
- something that can be changed by the right person
- something to be fixed
- being unable to have sex
- being unattractive
- just wanting attention
- being gay, but in denial
- being sexually inexperienced
- “just a phase”
Aspec people may or may not:
- Want to date
- Want to get married
- Want to have kids
- Want to snuggle, hug, hold hands, masturbate, have sexual contact, role play, participate in kink and BDSM / power play, have sex, exchange bodily fluids, kiss, dance, flirt, feed each other, etc.
- Want a romantic relationship
- Want a sexual relationship
- Want a queerplatonic relationship
- Be trans, non-binary, agender, or another gender minority
Aros may or may not:
- Have been in romantic relationships in the past
- Enjoy consuming romantic media
- Have had traumatic experiences from romance or romantic relationships
- Feel romantic attraction in limited circumstances
- Be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, straight, asexual, or another sexual orientation
Aces may or may not:
- Have had sex before
- Enjoy sex
- Be curious about sex
- Masturbate
- Watch porn/read erotica
- Have trauma regarding sex
- Feel sexual attraction in limited circumstances
- Enjoy feeling ‘sexy’ or wearing ‘sexy’ clothing
- Be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, straight, aromantic, or another romantic orientation
Aspec people do:
- Face discrimination, known as acephobia or aphobia, including microaggressions, workplace discrimination, and even corrective rape.
Examples of Microaggressions
- “You should feel flattered by unwanted attention”
- “There is no love without sex”
- “That’s not real” or “You’re lying”
- “But how do you know if you haven’t tried sex”
- “I bet I can change that”
- “Romantic love is what makes us human”
- “There’s something wrong with you”
- Being called cold, emotionless, robots, or inhuman
- Aros who want to have sex without a romantic relationship being called “players” or “predatory”
- Infantilization of aspec people: “you’re just young/naive/inexperienced/a late bloomer”
- Pressure to date/marry/have children: “Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend yet?”
- “I feel sorry for you” or “You’re missing out” or “You’re going to be lonely forever”
- Expecting an aspec person to answer intrusive questions