Asexual & Aromantic Community and Education Club

at Smith College

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  • Posts
    • Poetry
    • Call for Submissions
    • Round Up of Submissions
  • About Asexuality and Aromanticism
    • Definitions
    • Allonormativity and Amatonormativity
    • Misconceptions
    • Shared Experiences
    • Intersectionality
  • Resources
    • Media Representation
  • About Us

Shared Experiences

Experiences which are common among aros (though not universal, and also not exclusive to aros):

  • Never or rarely ever having crushes
  • Consciously choosing crushes or making up crushes in order to fit in
  • Only having had crushes on people you know really well
  • Only feeling romantically attracted to fictional characters
  • Feeling like it’s very difficult or takes you forever to ‘fall in love’
  • Not having a “type”
  • Disliking discussing crushes (yours or other people’s)
  • Entering into a relationship because “that’s what you’re supposed to do”
  • Feeling that the only thing that appeals to you in a romantic relationship is sex, or having nothing about a romantic relationship appealing to you
  • Dating someone because you wanted to ‘give them a chance,’ and not because you’re attracted to them
  • Being disinterested in dating altogether
  • Disliking media that’s romance heavy
  • Feeling a disconnect between yourself and romantic media
  • Finding traditionally romantic activities unappealing or uninteresting
  • Deciding you must be straight despite never having a crush on the “opposite” gender
  • Labeling yourself as aromantic feels freeing or validating

 

Experiences which are common among aces (though not universal, and also not exclusive to aces):

  • Being confused by:
    • The terms ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’
    • Flirting or sexual cues
    • Advertising that uses sexual imagery
    • Peers showing interest in sex (expecially in middle and high school)
    • Why abstinence is so difficult for some people
    • The idea of a ‘sexual awakening’
    • Celebrity crushes
  • Feeling disconnected from or uncomfortable with:
    • Sexual tension/sex scenes in books/TV/movies/etc.
    • Discussing sex
    • Being seen as sexual/sexy
  • Disinterest in a long-term sexual partnership/marriage
  • Wanting to have sex only with someone one feels a close emotional connection with
  • Never having crushes or choosing crushes
  • Disinterest in relationship-centric media
  • Not understanding the appeal of kissing or making-out
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