Soup, Salad, and Soul is a student-led group that meets every Friday from 12:15-1:00 p.m. in the Bodman Lounge of the Helen Hills Hills Chapel. We always have an amazing home cooked meal by three student chefs. In this series, Fallon Sullivan ’28 will explore the topics discussed at each meeting, taking quotes from students and thinking through her own relationship to the topic. In each piece, she will examine the ways in which the conversation changed perspectives and emotions, for both herself and others.
Last week, Kim ‘28 led us in a discussion about identity and authenticity. Students approached this topic in so many different ways, through different lenses of queerness, race, location, and body presentation. A lot of people used this as an opportunity to reflect on their backgrounds, examining how Smith feels different or similar from where they are from, and also how they feel varying degrees of otherness or acceptance at Smith. Most students agreed that they felt differently about expressing queerness at Smith, with some saying they felt more free to express their queerness, while others felt that Smith privileges a certain aesthetic of queerness that can be limiting.
A lot of people from the South mentioned receiving a lot of negative reactions from other Smithies, which made them upset. There were also a lot of people from rural areas, and they spoke about the different ways that they felt about the community and size of Smith because of that. Some people also brought up really interesting ideas about how they felt like their multiple identities interacted at Smith. Kim ‘28 (our amazing leader), said “I do feel like at Smith I can express myself more freely in terms of queerness, but there are some things– like race— I feel like people clocked me in a way I haven’t experienced before.” A lot of students pointed out the ways that they felt othered by white students in the Smith community, with Sophie ‘28 explaining how living in affinity housing helped her find safety and belonging that she was lacking in the larger community.
Many people talked about the ways that their body image was different at Smith, especially when it came to body hair. We have talked about this before at Soup, Salad, and Soul, and it is always a really interesting conversation. Generally, a lot of people expressed that they felt more secure and accepted when it came to having body hair at Smith compared to other places. Dahlia ‘28 talked about how their body hair was constantly being commented on outside of Smith, saying “it’s not like it’s malicious, but it makes me feel othered.” While a lot of people related to this feeling of acceptance at Smith, students also brought up the judgmental, gossipy culture that exists at Smith around other ways of presentation, such as having bare feet. While Smith is known as a very “weird” school, there is often a culture of acceptance around one type of weirdness, while those same “weird” people will go on to judge others.
With this in mind, we brought up ways to challenge our assumptions about others and create a more inclusive environment. Students talked about some of their favorite “weird” things to do–dancing barefoot, climbing trees– and encouraged others to join them. All of us agreed that we would like to see less of a gossip culture at Smith, which we could cultivate by saying hi to everyone, complimenting others, avoiding elitism and condescension, and being less afraid of being awkward. In doing this, we could avoid larger issues, such as ethnocentrism. Instead of seeing differences as threatening or wrong, we can notice the differences between us and others and use that to inform our perspective and broaden our horizons. In our discussion about weirdness, I was able to reflect on the differences between myself and others and identify the ways that I have drawn inspiration from other people. In doing this, I was able to expand my own sense of identity and feel more comfortable expressing myself. I really loved this topic, and I think it came at the perfect time. When we are coming to Smith, we are all coming from different places, physically, mentally, and spiritually, so this was an amazing opportunity to reflect on the differences we notice at Smith, and how we can contribute to a better culture at Smith as a whole.